Subj: Sometimes i feel like the whole human race...
Date: 01/12/97 02:01:28
From: CD
To: Liz
Yes, no more normalcy! Down the tubes with that!
I'm really into the new Sundays album, can i tell
you that? And you know
what? I just did!
I hate drivers, but i am a pretty crazy driver
myself. I love driving, i admit that. I'm a total maniac in a
car. I constantly ride on the horn (something i picked up in NYC). I think
i'm just against everyone else no matter what i'm doing. I hate
drivers when i'm walking, and i hate pedestrians when i'm driving. Pretty
lame, i know. Actually, i hate other drivers more when i'm driving. As
for pedestrians, they just do stupid things sometimes. Bike couriers
are crazy. I would love to ride a bike the way they do. Of course, they
just hang around Dupont Circle getting high and then delivering their
wares...
PA is actually very hick-like. It's only Philly
that is disgusting and gross--a large Baltimore. And
Pittsburgh is pretty nasty as well. The Garden State is New Jersey. WHY it's
called the Garden State is beyond me. It's the armpit of America. I don't
remember what PA is called. California is the Golden State, i know
that for sure! And Maine is Vacationland. Texas is the Lone Star
State. I guess i should know more about the country i live in? Nah...
i have done two trips to England. The first time
was in '88. I can't remember all the places i went to. The
ones i can remember are Orpington, Kent; Stonehenge; London (of
course); Nottingham; Stratford-upon-Avon; Sherwood Forest;
Leicester; Canturbery (not in that order). That's all i can remember. The
second time, in '92, i just hung around London (Radlett) and i took a
day trip to Leicester. And a day in Dover to get to France. And of course,
i've been around Europe. Twice to France, once in most of the other
countries, three times to Ireland. I'm considering taking a Europe trip during
my spring break. It would be very cheap to go.
Sounds like your US trip (the first one) was very
interesting. How long did it take you to do all this? The
States are weird in that the different states are almost like little
countries themselves. People who aren't from the US find it hard to
fathom that it's all one country. I don't blame them. I've never been to
any of those places that you named off, except for Los Angeles (of
course--i grew up there!), San Diego, and San Francisco. My sister lives in
San Diego. I used to want to moveto SF, but i don't want to anymore. SF is
really cool, but i don't want to live in California. A part of me
wouldn't mind it, but another part of me would. Does that make sense?
I'm sorry you didn't like Disneyland. I like it;
nostalgia wrapped up in it for me. Unfortunately, it's nothing
but a big cash-in. It's very embarrassing in that way. What's worse
is Disneyworld in Florida. Florida is really lame in my mind--it's
nothing but a big fake California, except that it's humid.
They've copied a lot of California's stuff. I'm not cool with that. Anyways,
to get back to Disneyland, i have always been partial to Mickey
Mouse; can't help it. I used to have Mickey Mouse wallpaper on my walls when
i was really little. Disneyland is also ultra-expensive! You should
have gone to Magic Mountain; it's really fun, if you like roller
coasters, and i love them.
Ah, Bladerunner. Great flick. I would love to see
it again.
NYC is the best city in the US, i think. It has
EVERYTHING. I mean, EVERYTHING. It's pretty intense, that
place. It's also very expensive. I don't know how i'm going to manage
living there next year, especially since i want to live in Manhattan. I'll
probably end up in a hole that's 3 stories under the ground.
Yes, Journey was a very cheesy band, but i have to
love them. I never liked REM. I remember my cousin was
into them when i was 13, and i thought they were awful. I only like
perhaps two songs of theirs. I never got into Nirvana, although at
boarding school we would be really stupid and mosh to "Smells Like
Teen Spirit." I think Kurt Cobain was a real loser. I read some article where
the writer was saying he was the leader of our generation. If Kurt
Cobain was/is the leader of my generation, i'd rather drink a gallon
of urine!
Do you like Fugazi?
I know exactly where that Dream Dresser place is!
If you haven't noticed, i live on Wisconsin Avenue as
well! It's a very long street. It's in Georgetown; i live right above
Georgetown. I went in there last year with my ex and was trying on all
these funky wigs. I had no idea it was a TV place. I just thought it was
one of those S&M/kinky sex places (no, we didn't go in there because of
that--i just thought it would be funny to try on the wigs).
I really want to go back and photograph those
queens again. When i called beforehand, the person i spoke
to got all uptight about not shooting the audience, that i just
shoot the queens. Anyways, after awhile i started doing the audience as
well. I was using 3200ASA film, so i wasn't using a flash. It was quite
easy to get away with it. If i had the means, i would go there and
show the queens their pics and try to get some more personal ones of them,
like in their dressing rooms, etc.
You would really like my friend, Agnideva. He's
really into conspiracy things with the government. He's told
me some really creepy stuff about Clinton and Bush, etc. Insane stuff. I
can't remember all of it, unfortunately. Anyways, we're all pawns
in the hands of a few demons, unfortunately.
That thing about the people who got deported is
really weird. Things like that happen all the time, though,
i'm sure. I'm sure if people were aware of all the weird stuff that goes
on behind closed doors, they'd be pretty spooked.
Agnideva is also really into aliens. Not in the
cheesy way, but he's really into that kind of stuff. He's
also really into healing, Reiki, etc. He's a masseur. He's very
interesting, to say the least!
Proctor & Gamble is EVIL. They experiment on
animals. Them and Gillette. I used to be into Charles Manson (yes,
it's true) and one thing he said that i always thought was really savvy
was, "The news gives you 5% of what's going on and even that's
distorted." Is that true or what?
This world is so corrupt.
The weather was rather pleasant today. Actually, i
wouldn't really know that because i was indoors at work all
day. Yesterday was nice at night. I did my laundry too--finally! My place
is a wreck though. It's REALLY bad. I haven't eaten anything
today--just been drinking OJ (which i ran out of), rice milk, and water with fake
sugar. Yes, i'll admit i'm into fake sugar. It's not something i'm
proud of!
Wow, how many tapes are you going to make me? This
is nice! I have to go out and buy some more blank tapes to
make you that Church one. And in terms of VU, i really haven't heard
much of their stuff, to be honest. So anything is cool.
I'd like to make you a funky tape, but i'm a little
worried that the songs on there you'll already have or
won't be into, etc. I'll admit that there is a big part of me that's
really into cheesy '80s. My ex couldn't believe i liked
"Africa" or "Stand Back." So sue me! *laughing* i'm going to have to ask you about separate songs
to see if i should put them on a tape for you.
Yes, it's true about the friend thing. Real friends
accept you for who you are. It's so hard to find people
who will accept the things about you totally without being judgmental. I
know most of my friends think i'm pretty weird, but they know that's
just me. Of course, i can be a hard-ass as well, which i don't like
very much about myself. I can be such an impersonalist! I know it has to
do with my unbringing. It's really twisted. I'M really twisted.
Anyways...
I'm really realising how much i miss playing music.
And i really miss singing. As of late, the only thing
that cheers me up is listening to music. "I can fall asleep at night
as a rock n roll star..."
If i had a voice like Harriet Wheeler's, that would
be great.
Away with conventions, shazamm!
From: Liz
To: CD
I’m going to bug Dave until he lets me borrow the
Sundays album. I’m getting into the new Echo and the Bunnymen right now. It’s
not quite up to original line up quality, but almost.
I’ve driven too, and admit I’m pretty lousy at it.
That’s one reason I don’t any more. Most of my friends drive, but I make them
feel guilty about it *laughing*.
Yeah, pedestrians can be crazy, I get people
stepping off the pavement right into the path of my bike - especially in
central London. I think they look, see no cars, and step out. Somehow I become
invisible on my bike. Maybe its a stealth bike, like the stealth bomber? This
morning, cycling into work, I was swearing under my breath at some cyclist who
was going incredibly slowly, weaving about the road so I couldn’t pass him.
Last year I stopped at some lights and got hit in the back by another cyclist
who didn’t see the lights. He started shouting at me, “What you stopped for
man?”. I pointed out the light, but I don’t think he thought I should have
stopped - a lot of cyclists don’t.
You went to Orpington? Why? It’s actually just
within the boundaries of London, and I used to live near there. I’ve been to
all the places you mention, and took part in an environmental action in
Canterbury.
It only took me around three weeks to my first US
trip. We really packed it in, the overnight travelling that helped. I really
want to go back and see some of the North West of America, Washington state
etc, and maybe see some of the wilderness, and small town America. I quite
fancy going to Northern California to see the Redwoods and then onto Yosemite
I agree, each state in America is like a separate
country. There is such diversity. I hate it when people generalise about
America or Americans. I couldn’t believe the difference in climate from Miami,
to Grand Canyon and SF. The Grand Canyon was the first desert area I’ve saw. It
was astonishing standing on the rim, in piles of snow, looking down to the
parched desert bottom of the Canyon.
The only things I liked at Disney were the roller-coasters.
They stopped me from being completely miserable. And there was the Star Wars
simulation thing - that was quite good too. The Peter Pan thing was weird, cos
we were supposed to be flying over London, which is something I’d done just two
weeks earlier, but for real. My friend wanted us to visit Disneyworld in
Florida but I put my foot down. We wouldn’t have had time to see America if we
spent all our time in theme parks.
Bladerunner is my favourite movie - the directors
cut that is. I’ve seen it many many times. And Gary Numan made an album based
on it. I’ll put a track on the GN tape I’m going to do for you.
I’m going to do you at least two more tapes - a VU
tape - based on my favourites - can I put any Lou Reed solo stuff on it? - and
a Gary Numan tape. I like making up tapes, it gives me an excuse to spend
quality time with my record collection.
I’ve put a few strange things onto the Bowie tape -
hope you like it. Unfortunately my copy of “when the wind blows” doesn’t play,
so you’ll have to wait till I get a new one.
I used to be a real big REM fan, but last two/three
years have been going off them rapidly. I really don’t like their last three
albums. But I’m not really into their earlier stuff much these days either. But
I still like Nirvana - but that doesn’t mean I idolise Cobain, cos I don’t. Did
you hear about the ‘Kurt cobain was murdered’ allegations? I don’t know much
about them, but isn’t that always the way when someone famous dies suddenly?
The Michael Hutchence was murdered stuff has already started.
I used to think Paul Weller represented my
generation but now he’s turned into a boring old man. Maybe I would accept
Billy Bragg as leader - but he’s not really my generation - he’s 10 years older
than me. Kurt was almost exactly my age, one reason why his death shocked me so
much at the time. Actually as a Green Anarchist I accept no leaders. I am my
own leader - no one tells me what to do.
Fugazi. You’ll have to remind me - the name’s
familiar.
I thought you’d probably know about Dream Dresser.
There’s a similar shop in Hammersmith, London. I’ve thought about looking it up
but I’m not sure all that kinky stuff is really my scene. It might be fun to
try a few wigs on though - and the shoes.
I’ve got a document from the Internet, written by
Noam Chomsky (my hero). It lists all the post-war presidents of the USA, and
details the war crimes they’ve committed. Under the terms of the Nuremberg
trials after WW2, they’d all have been hung. Good riddance I say. They can hang
the British Prime Ministers along side them too. Not that I believe in killing.
Actually I wouldn’t hang them - but I would strip them of their powers - and
maybe shove them out onto the streets where they’d be at the mercy of the people.
Do you literally believe in the existence of
demons? If so what exactly are they in your opinion? I find it a lot easier to
believe in them than god. I also believe that if there are demons, then they
run all the governments and all the big multi national corporations. Did you
ever see a film by John Carpenter, called “They Live”. It’s probably the most
subversive Hollywood movie I’ve ever seen. It was set in LA (original). The
film starts with a shanty town being evicted by the police and a load of hired
thugs. Squatters get beaten up, possessions get trashed etc, a pretty familiar
scenario to anyone involved in the British Land Rights movement. There’s this
bloke who tries to help the squatters but he gets threatened and moved on. But
he comes back. There are these people who are set up in a nearby church, he
goes in finds a box of shades and put s one of them on. They seem perfectly
normal. But when he goes out onto the street suddenly he notices that some of
the people aren’t human. Through the shades they look like aliens. When he
takes the shades off - normal - puts them on - aliens. The shades acted as a
kind of screen - allowing the wearer to see things as they really are. It turns
out that the aliens have infiltrated everywhere, the police, big business,
politics. They were treating humans as cattle, forcing us to take crap jobs,
exploiting us much like capitalism does. With the shades on, advertising on
hoardings and TV said things like “BUY MORE”, “CONSUME”, “HAVE BABIES”, “SPEND
MONEY”. There’s a scene where he goes into a middle class area, and all the
wealthy people were aliens, and every group of police had an alien in charge.
So it becomes a parody of a Schwarzenegger move where he goes into this bank,
and shoots aliens. We see it as him shooting the police, and shooting the
middle class people. The film then descends into a third rate shoot and chase
movie, but the point has been made.
There’s also some stuff I came across, properly
referenced, where certain key people in US governments have talked about the
real purpose of government. It’s to keep the people passive and dormant, and
make sure they keep paying their taxes. When the people rise up and make their
concerns known, as during the Vietnam war, they call it “a crisis of democracy”.
In this country when people go out onto the streets
to voice their opinions, we get these armed thugs in uniforms coming down on
us. These thugs are called the Territorial Support Group, supposedly trained to
deal with terrorists, actually get used against unarmed civilians, and I should
know! Don’t let anyone tell you the British police don’t carry guns - all you
have to do is walk around London for a few hours, and you’ll see plenty of
armed police. Especially near the US embassy.
I take an interest in UFOs but wouldn’t go so far
as to say I believe that they are aliens. There’s something going on though,
even if its just a weird world-wide psychological phenomenon. But what
interests me is why is it that our governments keep lying about their interest
in the subject. In the US there are mountains of documents about the subject,
available through the Freedom of Information Act. Sometimes I wonder if its a
conspiracy (that word again!) to keep us occupied and looking in the wrong
place. I’ve no doubt that a lot of what we call UFOs are actually secret
military vehicles developed by the US, but that can’t account for all of the
sightings.
I’ve read this book about companies like Proctor
& Gamble. Animal experiments serve no scientific function at all. There are
plenty of independent scientists willing to testify to that. But big companies
keep up the pretence that animal tests will keep us all safe. If their new
product kills a rat, then they test it on a rabbit. If that dies they’ll test
it on a monkey and so on. Eventually, say, they test it on a cat and the cat
lives. So they’ll write up a report about how the cat can be used as a “model”
representing a human being, and that the product passed all the animal tests.
Then the product is released and it causes all kinds of health and environment
problems. If this ever comes up at court (and lots of these do) the company
will turn around and say “well, we did what we were legally obliged to do”. And
they get away with it. Animal experiments is all one giant scam, set up by the
big drug and chemical factories to rake in piles of money. They are more
powerful than most governments, and control a few of them. One thing is for
sure - they know how evil and dangerous there products are. That makes them
demons in my book. I’m completely against “legal” drugs - they are so dangerous
and destructive. And people don’t realise it. I hardly ever go to a doctor, and
never ever take drugs that are prescribed to me.
It was so cold riding in this morning - my hands are frozen, I need gloves! I tell
you, I love my new bike, its very different from my old one.
